


all alone (in this big, big house)

by larkafterdark



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bellarke, F/M, mild romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-18
Updated: 2015-02-06
Packaged: 2018-03-02 01:46:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2795264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larkafterdark/pseuds/larkafterdark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke is all alone. Well, she was usually alone in her home, but this time she was really, truly, alone. After her father died it was just her and her mother, but when Clarke hit thirteen, old enough to take care of herself, Abby began spending more and more time at the hospital. Now that Clarke is in college, Abby ships off to a third world country with Doctors without Borders, leaving Clarke all alone in their house for at least four years. Now Clarke needs roommates. She’s been alone long enough.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Raven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo this is my first 100 fic, so please be nice and let me know what you think!

Her parents had high hopes, they wanted everything. Jake wanted ten kids, Abby wanted two. They settled on five and bought an eight bedroom mansion on the outside of Washington D.C. where they could raise their many kids in peace. There was no mortgage, they paid up front, and there was a trust fund with enough money to put Clarke through Harvard six times over by the time she could toddle Everything was looking up. Then Jake died, suddenly and without warning. The perfect life they’d constructed to be so foolproof was suddenly gone.  
Abby spent every waking moment with Clarke after Jake died, but when she got older Abby threw herself into her work, leaving Clarke to herself most of the time. And then she came home beaming the day after Clarke got her acceptance letter Arlington U, a huge, prestigious academy that offered almost every major, from Art to Law, and announced that she was leaving for Mozambique within a fortnight on a four year medical tour. Soon enough she was gone, and Clarke was well and truly on her own.  
~`~  
A week after Abby left Clarke curled up in the couch with a bottle of red, flipping through the channels in search of a good, or at least mediocre, movie. Settling on an ABC Family movie marathon, Clark sighed and poured more wine into her mug- the pink one she’d given her mother when she was ten, with the words ‘love you mom’ scrawled in faded lime green sharpie across the center. When she looked at it her stomach clenched- even when she was little, she was never much of a ‘mommy’ person, and now she wished she had been. Maybe, had she been more affectionate, been more of the little girl her mother wanted her to be, maybe her mother wouldn’t have left her all alone in this big, big house.  
An hour and half of a bottle of wine later she called Raven.  
“Raven, Raven I need you to come to my house.” She slurred into the receiver.  
“Clarke it’s one AM, what’s up?” her best friends voice came through the phone.  
“I don’t wanna be alone anymore Raven, I don’t think I can be alone anymore.” In an instant, she was sad, her mood swinging under the wines influence.  
“I’ll be right there, Clarke.” And with that she hung up the phone.  
~`~  
Twenty minutes later Raven was retrieving what had become known as her key from behind the loose glass pane of the porch light. Raven and Clarke had met when they were fifteen when they realized they were dating the same boy, Finn Collins. Clarke, who went to a private school, met Finn when she was at the hospital with her mother and he was in for an allergic reaction. Raven went to the local public school with Finn, and had been together since they were thirteen. As they were from completely different walks of life, it was six months before they discovered what was happening. Instead of destroying each other and running back to him, like Finn had anticipated, they teamed up and knocked him on his ass. They’d been best friends ever since.  
Raven trudged up the stone steps and unlocked the door, tossing the key into the key tray and making a mental note to return it before she left the next day.  
“Raven?” she heard Clarke call drunkenly from the living room.  
“Hey sweetie, how are you?” Raven sat beside her on the couch and when Clarke laid back on her she didn’t move, just set a hand on her head and ran the other through her hair.  
“I’m drunk.” Clarke smiled at the ceiling.  
“I know.” Raven agreed. “I never thought I’d see the day where I was the responsible one.” Clarke giggled.  
The rest of the night passed in similar fashion, watching TV movies and giggling until Clarke passed out on Raven. Raven didn’t mind, she was alone often, so being around Clarke was nice. The two were family, sisters in every way but blood. Abby loved Raven too, and she would’ve adopted her had she been able. When Raven’s mother ODed a week after her eighteenth birthday, both Clarke and Abby were there for her until she was able to stand on her own two feet again. Now, it was her turn to help Clarke up. They would always be there for one another, and their bond was something both of them relied on.  
~`~  
“Oh my God.” The groan came from the living room the next morning as Raven prepared a mediocre breakfast of cereal and scrambled eggs- the only thing she knew how to make. She’d managed to roll Clarke off her and wrap her up in a blanket around 4 and made herself comfortable in an armchair.  
“Morning sunshine.” Raven called as she plated the eggs.  
“Right now I’m not liking morning or sunshine.” Clarke grunted as she meandered in, reaching for the pill bottle and glass of water already waiting for her on the breakfast bar.  
“I wouldn’t call this morning- it’s actually one in the afternoon.” Raven pointed to the clock on the stove.  
Again, Clarke groaned and pulled her cereal towards her. They ate in silence, the only sound being the ever leaky tap and the washing machine. Wait a second, the washing machine?  
“Raven, why is the washing machine running?” Clarke questioned. Looking around, she noticed the entire house was cleaner than she’d seen it in years. “Why does my house look like it was sent through a car wash?”  
“I figured waking up to a clean house with a hangover would be better than waking up to a messy house with a hangover. Either way, what else was I supposed to do, sit around and wait for you to wake up? I could’ve been there for years.” Raven teased.  
“Thank you.” Clarke laughed. She looked at the clock again, very glad this was her day off.  
They washed the dishes together, Clarke washing and Raven drying, and then settled back on the couch.  
“No problem I’ve gotta run- duty calls, work in an hour and I smell severely of you.” She wrinkled her nose in mock disgust a little while later.  
“Alright, let me see you out.” Clarke stood, adjust her pajama pants and stretching. She walked Raven to the door and hugged her goodbye. Already, she felt the loneliness creep up behind her. A moment later, the bell rang. Clarke frowned and opened the door back up. Raven was waiting on the other side, pointing at the key tray.  
“I forgot the key, I always forget the key.” She laughed as Clarke retrieved it and handed it to her.  
“I’ll just put it back, see you later.” Again Raven made her way down the path and made to put the key away when Clarke got an idea.  
“Raven! Come here.” She called, stepping outside onto the porch. Raven, slightly startled, turned and made her way back up the path.  
“Don’t worry, I didn’t stick a red sock in with your whites.” She joked, shielding her eyes against the summer sun.  
“Move in with me.” Clarke blurted. Raven didn’t flinch.  
“Excuse me?”  
“Keep the key, move in with me, it makes perfect sense! You don’t go to school far away, you live alone, I live alone, I have a huge house and no rent. Move in with me.” Clarke told her, getting excited the more she thought about it.  
“Are you serious?” Raven asked, stepping closer.  
“Absolutely, this way neither of us will be alone, and if we ever need a drinking buddy we’re always around each other.” Clarke was convinced. Her mind was set, and already Raven knew she wasn’t getting out of this. She had to admit, it was a good idea. She only had one worry.  
“You’re sure we won’t get sick of each other?”  
“Raven, if we were going to get sick of each other we’d have done it years ago. You practically live here anyway, you have clothes in one of the guest bedrooms. And if we need space this place is huge.” Clarke gestured around them. Raven contemplated this a moment, then took out her phone, dialing a number.  
“Yeah, hi, I can’t come in today, I think I’m coming down with something.” She fake coughed into the phone. After a little conversation, she hung up.  
“Well, what are you waiting for? We have to move me out of my studio.” She smiled at Clarke, who grinned back and ran inside for her car keys.


	2. Octavia

~`~  
Three weeks after Raven officially moved in Arlington U held its orientation. Aside from being orientation it was also a chance for Clarke to meet everyone in her year, which she wasn’t necessarily looking forward to.  
“I hate orientations, I don’t see why I have to go.” She grumbled into her phone to Raven. She tried in vain to keep her phone pinned between her ear and shoulder while forcing her oversized wallet into the bag on her shoulder.  
“So you can get acclimated and meet new friends, you have to branch out sometime.” Raven mock scolded on the other line. Clarke heard her co worker snicker.  
“I heard that Wi-!” before she could finish she was knocked sideways into the grass. She faintly heard Raven yelling on the other line.  
“Sorry, sorry.” A girl with long black hair and bangs that made her look eleven squeaked frantically as she gathered Clarke’s things and handed them to her.  
“No problem.” Clarke replied, dazed. She scrubbed her face with her hands and forced herself into a sitting position, feeling the grass beside her for her phone. A small hand thrusts it into her palm.  
“Your friend is yelling.” The girl with the bangs told her.  
“Sorry. Raven, I’ll have to call you back.” Flipping her phone shut (yes she still has a flip phone, she and her Razor are very happy) Clarke turned to the girl, who was holding out Clarke’s wallet.  
“Thanks.” She took it and forced it into her bag along with her phone. “Do you know where freshman orientation is?”  
The girl seemed caught off guard. “That’s actually where I was headed, I was worried I’d be the last one there, it’s why I was running like a maniac.” She laughed between her words and soon Clarke was laughing too.  
“Let’s be late together. I’m Clarke.” She stuck out her hand.  
“I’m Octavia, and I think you should call your friend back.” She giggled, shaking Clarke’s hand.  
Clarke called Raven, who was gearing up to send out a search party, and went with Octavia to the orientation, finding that they were only a few minutes late. Half an hour into the Dean’s speech the real last people cam stumbling in, an Asian kid and a lanky guy wearing goggles on his head. Later, Clarke would come to know them as Monty and Jasper, the lightweights that thoroughly enjoyed drinking, and proved to be very good friends.  
~`~  
Two months later, a week before the semester started, everyone planned to meet at the Starbucks a block from campus for lunch and just generally to chat. That morning, Octavia texted Clarke, asking her to meet her in the university’s guidance office so they could walk together.  
Clarke sat patiently in the waiting room, trying to avoid the curious eyes of the secretary. She glanced down at her watch and pinched the bridge of her nose. They should already be at Starbucks, but Octavia is still in the damn office.  
“Do you think I could knock on the door, let Octavia know I’m here?” she asked the receptionist after ten minutes of nervously bobbing her foot.  
“Oh that’s fine.” The woman nodded her head towards the door. Clarke stood and marched to the door, knocking lightly before entering. Upon her entrance she saw Octavia sniffling, a few tears in her eyes.  
“Just a second!” Octavia sputtered, rubbing her eyes.  
“Please, take all the time you need.” Clarke shut the door hastily and returned to her seat, again ignoring the secretaries questioning eyes.  
A few seconds later Octavia emerged, looking composed as ever- if a little flushed. She grabbed Clarke’s hand and before she could even open her mouth Octavia was dragging her from the office. Outside, she finally let go.  
“I’m dropping out.” Octavia whispered, her throat clogged with emotion  
“What?” Clarke questioned, eyebrows furrowing into a frown.  
“I can’t afford it. I thought I could work around the system but instead I got fucked. I’m not exactly loaded, my dad’s a deadbeat and my mom died when I was fifteen. My brother looked after me, but I’ve wanted to go here since I was little and we didn’t have much income, so he moved down here from dreary old New Hampshire and got a job working security on campus because then my tuition would be cheaper. I lived alone and finished high school, got accepted here, and hopped on a Greyhound with my entire life in a duffel bag. Between Bellamy, my brother, helping with tuition, myself working two jobs and scholarships I would’ve been able to swing the in-state tuition. The plan was to legally change my address before next Tuesday, which is when the payment plan needs to be chosen. But last week Bell was asked to live on campus full time, which is awesome because it came with a promotion, but I can’t register as living on campus without the administration knowing and even if Bellamy turned it down we need the money and then we won’t be able to pay tuition. So, in short, it’s over and I’m fucked.” Octavia was near tears again, nervously twisting the arrow ring on her middle finger.  
“Octavia, I can help you-.” Clarke began to offer, but Octavia cut her off.  
“No. I may be poor, but I don’t accept handouts. Not under any circumstances. I’ll just wait a few years, until I can afford it.” But Clarke could tell that wasn’t what she wanted, if she had to wait a few years it wouldn’t be worth it.  
“Then let’s change your address. Move in with me and Raven.” Clarke blurted, having the same epiphany she’d had when she told Raven to move in.  
“I told you, I don’t-.” it was Clarke’s turn to interrupt.  
“It’s not a handout. You’ll have to chip in with the bills, but split three ways it shouldn’t be bad. And groceries too, not to mention chores. Really I’d probably owe you in the end.” Clare rattled on. Octavia beamed at her.  
“You mean it?” She whispered.  
“Hell yes I mean it. Tomorrow you legally become a Virginia resident, but first we should meet everyone else at Starbucks before Raven sends out a search party- again.” Clarke laughed, and Octavia linked their arms and turning in the direction of the coffee shop.  
~`~  
The next Monday Octavia was all set for school and a legal citizen of the lovely state of Virginia.  
Raven peered through the blinds as Octavia hopped out of a large, weather-worn red truck. Clarke joined her at the window.  
“We could just meet them outside, I mean we haven’t even met Bellamy yet.” Clarke whispered.  
“Hell no, this is more fun.” Raven snickered. A man, maybe twenty four, came around the truck and pulled a huge, overflowing duffel bag from the truck bed. He followed Octavia up the walkway, eyeing the huge house as though suspicious. He glanced at their window, and the girls scrambled out of his eyeline. They scurried to the door, Raven pressing her ear to it as they waited for her to ring the bell, as to not seem creepy by opening the door too early.  
“…sure about this? Seems sketchy.” Bellamy’s muffled voice came through the door, followed by Octavia’s voice.  
“It’s fine. I trust them. I’ll be in contact all the time. Don’t worry, Bellamy- you don’t have to anymore.” Clarke felt confident with Octavia’s decision and the pep talk wasn’t even aimed at her. Suddenly she wasn’t surprised that she’d managed to convince her brother to let her live alone illegally for two years until she turned eighteen. The girls were startled out of their trances by the loud doorbell. Raven swung the door open, nearly hitting Clarke.  
“Hey! Guy’s this is Bellamy, my brother. He’s dropping me off.” She gestured to the stone faced boy beside her. Clarke had known any relative of Octavia’s had to be stunning, but he was almost as pretty as her- like, qualifiably girl-pretty, and not in a bad way. Had it not been for his icy glare and overconfident, cocky aura, Clarke may actually have been taken with him- all chocolaty brown eyes and freckled, tan skin.  
“It’s nice to meet you Bellamy- would you like to stay for dinner? We’re ordering a pizza.” Raven seemed unfazed by his demeanor.  
“I can’t I have work. I should get going. Octavia, call me later.” He turned to his sister and handed her the duffel bag.  
“I will, Bell. Thanks for the ride.” She took her bag, hugged him, and followed Raven into the house. Clarke made to shut the door but was stopped by a large hand on the frame.  
“Can I help you?” she asked coolly, narrowing her eyes.  
“Keep an eye on her. She’s allergic to bees and whenever she gets Arby’s she breaks out in hives, but refuses to stop eating it so just give her Benadryl and let her sleep it off. She likes to stay up late but make sure she gets at least five hours of sleep and please, for the love of God keep her away from boys. Just watch out for her, please.” Bellamy wasn’t as gruff as she’d expected him to be, in fact he seemed almost soft, at least when it came to Octavia.  
“You can trust me, I’ll watch her.” Clarke assured him, and he moved his hand. They nodded respectfully at each other and Bellamy turned away as Clarke shut the door. She stood there for a minute before joining the girls.  
“This place is huge, where do I sleep?” Octavia yelled, looking down the steps at Clarke.  
“Wherever you want. Or you could do what Raven’s been doing and just sleep wherever you want every night.” Clarke called up to her. Octavia grinned and took off in a run through the hallway. Clarke smiled to herself and went to find the key she’d had made for Octavia. Her house was, finally, filling up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soooo there you have it! As much as i'd love to make these chapters longer I don't really want to stretch the idea too far because then it gets all blah. Let me know who you lot want to see more of or who you think should move in next, I'd love to hear your opinions! Thanks for reading, y'all know the drill (kudos, bookmark, subscribe, all that jazz)


	3. Pre-Thanksgiving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanksgiving up next! heres some Bellamy-Clarke getting to know each other, amongst other things, and a cameo from the one and only Wick!

The first months together they worked out a routine, delegated who did what (Raven was best at cleaning, Octavia was the best cook and Clarke rocked at tidying up the rooms) and really settled into life together.

Octavia revealed that she had an older boyfriend who was away in Afghanistan, and she wrote him letters all the time. She decided to grow out her bangs, which were filling out at an almost alarming rate because of some hair growth supplement she was taking. Raven’s internship ended but the company offered her a position as deputy director of the ‘Astro’ division, effectively making her the youngest astromechanic in American history, and she was set to graduate valedictorian in a year, again youngest in American history. Clarke, on the other hand, was ruing the day she decided to go pre-med. She loved the idea of saving people, she really did, but she didn’t actually have a passion for medicine- she felt it was her civic duty as Dr. Abigail Griffin’s daughter to pass on the medical mogul tradition, so she did what she had to do, just as she'd done all her life.

Three days before Thanksgiving break the girls pulled an all-nighter, finishing term papers and attempting to cram information into their brains.

The next morning Clarke woke draped across the light brown Laz-E-Boy, drool working its way up her cheek because of her position and the smell of bacon filling her nostrils. She yawned audibly and stretched out like a cat, arms spread wide over her head. Reluctantly, she rolled off the recliner and rubbed the dry saliva from her face. Squinting, she noticed that both Raven and Octavia were curled up on the couch. Suddenly awake, she looked around the room for a weapon and grabbed a poker from the fireplace.

She crept quietly towards the kitchen, poker at her side, and looked around the wall to into the kitchen to see Bellamy whistling over the stove, poking at a mountain of bacon with an old blue plastic spatula Clarke hadn’t seen in years. She sighed in relief and turned the corner to face Bellamy.

“Please, help yourself.” She offered sarcastically.

“Morning, princess.” He gave a pointed look at her oversized ‘Princess’ nightshirt. Clarke adjusted it self-consciously.

“How’d you get in here?” she questioned, moving around the center island to the fridge and retrieving her cranberry juice.

“Cranberry juice? I had you pegged as more of an orange juice person, based on how much is in your fridge.” Bellamy commented, ignoring her question.

“That would be your sister’s and don’t avoid the question.” Clarke bit back, starting up the ancient coffee maker.

“Octavia asked me to stop by, she told me where you keep a spare key. Not a bad hiding spot, I gotta say.” He answered honestly, turning back to his bacon. Clarke slightly regretting getting more keys made for Raven, Octavia and the post light.

“Why? I don’t mind” she corrected quickly “but I’m just curious.”

“I don’t know, Princess, but we’ll find out soon enough.” He grunted back.

They moved about in silence for a few minutes, and Clarke set a cup of coffee with milk down beside Bellamy at the stove.

“How’d you know how I take it?” he asked, raising it to his lips.

“That’s how O likes it.” She replied, setting hers on the island and moving to leave the room.

“I’m gonna take a shower, don’t burn the house down.” she advised jokingly.

“But you just made coffee, and I’m making bacon!” Bellamy called after her, confused by the way she did things. Clarke’s head appeared around the corner.

“It’s scathing, I’m not suicidal.” She said, as though it was the simplest thing in the world. Bellamy heard her run up the stairs and the faint patter of her feet above him, and he couldn’t help but roll his eyes. Maybe she and Octavia were well suited for each other.

~`~

When Clarke came back down the stairs in shorts and her dad’s old Aerosmith t-shirt, wet hair creating dark patches by her shoulders, the entire household (plus Bellamy) was sitting around the island laughing at something.

“What’d I miss?” Clarke asked, sliding into the empty space beside Raven. There was already a plate and utensils waiting for her, her coffee accompanied by her cranberry juice

“Raven’s just recounting some tales from your past.” O teased, pouring herself more orange juice.

“Whatever she tells you is only partially true.” Clarke affirmed, smiling as she piled bacon onto her plate.

“Even about Finn?” Bellamy interjected. The sounds of eating ceased. Clarke could hear the blood in her ears. She distantly heard O slap his arm.

“You told him about Finn?” she asked Raven quietly.

“He asked how we became friends.” She replied sheepishly. There was a pause.

“I didn’t mean to overstep any boundaries.” Bellamy began, but Clarke put a hand up.

“It’s fine, it’s a valid question. O, can you pass the strawberries?” in an instant Clarke snapped back to normal. Bellamy eyed her suspiciously, as if expecting her to snap.

Soon enough everyone had shaken off the awkwardness and they were back to joking with each other. When Bellamy had to leave Clarke walked him to the door.

“Here you go” she handed him the key from the tray and pointed for the post light. “You took it out, you put it away.”

Bellamy rolled his eyes, “Okay, mom.” He turned to leave.

“One second, I’m not sure if O remembered to tell you, but if you want we’re having a Thanksgiving thing, dinner and all in a couple days. You’re welcome to join.” She offered, a small smile on her lips.

“Yeah, maybe I’ll drop by.” He smiled back, turned and headed down the path.

Clarke watched him nudge the glass out of the way and drop the key inside. She envied the fact that he didn’t have to get on his toes like she always had, but with his arm raised, his grey t-shirt lifted slightly, showing a patch of smooth skin. The fabric came back down and she was snapped from her reverie, thanking every deity Bellamy hadn’t looked her way. She shut the door harder than necessary and turned out of the entrance hall, letting out the breath she hadn’t known she’d been holding.

Meanwhile, off on the staircase, Octavia and Raven were laughing to each other.

"See? I told you they would do well together. Inviting him over was genius."

~`~

Clarke really had to go shopping, both food and clothes wise, according to Octavia.

“Come on, we should get you a holiday outfit.” O continued her relentless efforts to get Clarke shopping as said girl dumped four boxes of stuffing into a cart.

“Do you think that’s enough? Where’s Raven?” Clarke, completely lost in her own world, continued.

“Getting the turkey, and don’t change the subject.” Octavia scolded.

“Alright, O. If we manage to get out of here and home by four we can go shopping before the mall closes.” She tore away from her list to look down the aisle.

“Thank you! Now where the hell is Raven…” she looked up the aisle, up on her toes. As if summoned, Raven came around the corner, utterly turkeyless. Despite the lack of turkey, she was smiling, and right behind her came her coworker (now subordinate, but who cares) Wick, carrying a massive bird.

“Got the turkey!” she pointed to Wick.

“I see that, it’s nice to see you, Wick.” Clarke acknowledged, taking to her list again.

“You too, Clarke. And you, Octavia. Tell Bellamy I say hello.” Wick knew Bellamy from his years living here, and had worked in a popular bar together until Bellamy got his security job.

“Why don’t you tell him yourself? He’s coming over for Thanksgiving, and we have plenty of food. Why don’t you stop by?” O offered. Clarke made a noise of approval without lifting her head.

“Yeah, why don’t you?” Raven turned to him, and he set the turkey into the wagon, careful not to crush the stuffing boxes.

“Sounds good to me.” He nodded, “When should I be there?”

“Around four work? Dinners ready at five.” Said Octavia.

“Alright. I’ll see you then.” He smiled and walked down the aisle, waving goodbye.

“Alright, lets kick it into high gear.” O took the cart and began down the aisle. “We have to get Clarke an outfit.”

~`~

Much to Clarke’s dismay, they were in the house and unpacked by 3:53. Octavia dragged her out to the mall while Raven covered cleaning the house.

“I don’t see what’s wrong with this.” She gestured to the dark green button up she almost always wore open over a tank top.

“How about this?” Octavia ignored her, holding up a pink sweater. Clarke opened her mouth to protest- pink was such a bright color- but found that, when she reached out to touch it, it was just so _soft._

“Hmm, you’re right. Not fancy enough.” Octavia moved to set it back on the rack when she saw Clarke's expression, but Clarke’s hand stopped her.

“Maybe, but that doesn’t mean I can’t wear it another day.” Clarke reasoned, taking the sweater from her friend.

“Clarke Griffin, I think you just had your fashion breakthrough.” O beamed at her. “I think we should get you a wagon.”

The next three hours were spent getting Clarke (and Octavia) some new clothes, clothes that didn’t look like they’d been dragged through the mud and washed into submission. They only left when the people in the store threatened to lock them in for the night, and even then they put up a fight.

“Buzzkill.” Octavia muttered to Clarke and they ducked under the near-shut grate outside the store. They laughed all the way to the car, purchases in bags going to their elbows.

“My mom was never this much fun shopping, it was always ‘Get in, get out’ but this, this is _fun.”_ Clarke laughed as they deposited their bags into the backseat of her dad’s old truck- the one she’d inherited and kept, despite her mother’s concerns about safety and how well it ran. Clarke knew if anything ever went wrong engine wise Raven would fix it no problem.

“Well, it’s only partially the clothes, it’s also the shoes you’re wearing” she gestured to her combat boots, “And the people your with.”

Clarke smiled at her and set off down the freeway towards home, music blasting, feeling happier then she had in a long, long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, I'm a sap. I like happiness- sue me. Don't worry though, I'm just lulling you into a false sense of security- at least for the next few chapters


	4. Thanksgiving and regrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow I am late but this is so freaking long I'm sorry if theres typos but I wrote this in one shot while slightly a little drunk so hopefully its alright. Peace bros, ima get some sleep

“Clarke why do we need _four_ boxes of stuffing?” Octavia asked Thanksgiving morning as they set all supplies on the kitchen table, all the while directed by Octavia. The table usually sat on the other end of the room by the window, but O had them drag it to the island for ‘increased efficiency.’

“So we don’t run out, we have a lot of people coming over.” She stressed, removing a huge box of cornbread mix from above the fridge.

“Clarke, that could feed 100 people, easy.” Raven spoke up from the floor, where she was digging through the cabinets in search of a roasting pan.

“Well, I happen to like stuffing. And cranberry sauce. And cornbread.” Clarke retorted stubbornly.

“Found it!” Raven yelled from, I shit you not, the inside of the cabinet, where she was in up to her waist. She pulled herself out, roasting pan gripped in her hands, accompanied by the sound of crashing pans inside the cabinet. There was a loud _crack_ as she smacked her head on the roof of the cabinet, followed by a loud groan. Slowly this time, she backed the rest of herself out, pan held in front of her.

“You okay?” asked Octavia, slightly laughing and slightly concerned.

“Yeah, just a bump.” She drawled, rolling her head on her shoulders in an effort to stretch her neck.

“Wait! This is good practice, stay where you are. O, get ice, I’ve gotta get my flashlight.” Clarke took off around the corner, leaving O and Raven to their tasks.

“Well, I’m doing what I’m supposed to do.” Raven looked at Octavia teasingly. O rolled her eyes and turned to the fridge, making a big show of pulling out the freezer drawer and scooping ice into a bag.

“My hero.” Raven joked, taking the bag from Octavia’s waiting hands. They heard Clarke flying down the stairs, and a moment later she came around the corner and dropped to her knees next to Raven, who had just set the ice on the sizeable lump forming on the back of her head.

“Stay still.” She ordered, taking hold of Raven’s shoulders and forcing her into a straight position. Raven played along as Clarke held her eyes open and shone a bright light into them.

“Patient is showing no signs of concussion.” Clarke concluded, clicking her flashlight off.

“I could’ve told you that.” Raven grumbled, blinking her eyes.

“Patient is showing signs of irritability.” Clarke said in mock thoughtfulness.

Raven smiled sarcastically and stood up, handing the roasting pan, which had been sitting on the floor beside her, to Octavia.

They faintly heard the front door open, and Raven reached for the poker that’d been leaning on the island for the past couple of days. She quietly turned the corner, weapon raised, before dropping it to her side with a sigh, taking the ice bag from the counter

“Welcome, Bellamy, work your cooking magic, O. I’m gonna go try to rewire the doorbell, since no one ever uses it.” She threw a pointed look at Bellamy, who’d just turned the corner, hands up in surrender, and moved past him towards the front hall.

“What is it with you three and that damn poker.” He muttered, hands in the front pockets of his dark jeans. He shook snowflakes from his hair, and Clarke vaguely recalled seeing a weather forecast for snow the other day.

“Why’re you here so early?” O asked, opening a cabinet and pulling out an array of spices Clarke was pretty sure she couldn’t pronounce (thyme?)

“I figured you might need a hand. Raven told me you were having a battalion of people over.” He glanced over at the stack of food on the table.

“I would exactly call Wick, Monty and Jasper a battalion.” O commented, opening a cabinet and reaching to get the boxes of Hungry Jack mashed potatoes from the top shelf.

“I think Jasper might fit that description alone.” Clarke put in thoughtfully. “More like a mob, or an army.” Bellamy smiled a little at the description and turned back to O.

“How can I help?”

Octavia thought for a moment. “Do you know how to make cranberry sauce?”

“Ah, no, that I can’t do. But I can carve the turkey, whenever that’s ready.” He offered.

“Well, that’s not for a while, so would you be able to run to Bottle King and get whatever alcohol you think would work with all this.” She gestured vaguely to the piles of festive foods in the kitchen “You worked in a bar. Use your bartender intuition.”

Bellamy raised his eyebrows skeptically. “Used to being the operative term, and I work for campus security now, if I got caught I’d get fired and possibly arrested.”

“Buzzkill.” Octavia muttered not-so under her breath.

“I can’t buy you booze, but Wick probably could, and he’s got that magic ‘bartender intuition’ you mentioned.” Bellamy offered.

“You know, that’s not a bad idea. I’ll go give him a call.” Clarke replied, pulling her phone from her back pocket and turning the corner out of the room as she dialed.

“Alright you, no more slacking. I’m putting you on potato duty.” Octavia thrust a peeler in his direction and he turned to see a huge sack of red potatoes.

“You know, I really should help… Raven with the doorbell thing.” He made to leave but Octavia grabbed him by the back of his plain white button up.

“Not so fast, I need all of them peeled and ready. I’m gonna go find you an apron, if you get something on yourself you’re screwed.” She handed him the peeler (he took it this time) and set off in search of aprons.

“It’s just potato peeling” he muttered to himself and dragged the potatoes over to the tall garbage can.

A few minutes later Clarke reentered the room, sliding her phone into her back pocket. She stopped when she saw Bellamy attempting to peel what seemed to be the first potato he’d ever peeled in all his life. He nicked his knuckle and hissed, lifting his hand to his face and sucking lightly on the cut.

“Alright there, Blake?” Clarke asked, eyebrows going to her hairline. Bellamy’s head whipped toward her, thumb abandoned.

“This is harder than I anticipated.” He said gruffly, as if protecting his honor.

“Right, one second.” She reached down and opened the lowest drawer, producing two aprons, one white and one dark red. In another drawer she retrieved a band aid and Neosporin. Aprons slung over her shoulder, she opened the band aid and rubbed a little Neosporin on the pad, turning to Bellamy.

“Hand.”

He raised his hand and stuck out the offending finger. She carefully wrapped the band aid around his knuckle- it was one of those weird, cut out flexible band aids, so he would be fine- and held out a finger as if telling him to stay. She took the white apron and he lowered his head, allowing her to put it around his neck.

“Thank you.” He said as she went around him and tied the back strings.

“No problem, our washing machine is out so if you got anything on this shirt you would be-.”

“Screwed? That’s what O said.” Bellamy interrupted. “Thanks.” He said again, and she patted his shoulder on the way to the fridge.

“You get back to work, O is on cornbread, Raven is staying as far away as possible, and hopefully fixing the washer, and I’ll do cranberries.” She seemed to be talking more to herself than Bellamy, but he didn’t really mind. It was kind of nice.

“I give up, 3 months I’ve lived here and never have I ever been able to find a freaking apron.” O stormed in, an oversize towel wrapped around her waist in lieu of an apron. Upon seeing them, she stopped.

“Where did you find those?” She asked, frustrated. “And Bellamy, _downward strokes_ it’s not rocket science. That’s Raven’s job.” Bellamy just grunted irritably, but changed his approach nevertheless.

“Bottom drawer” Clarke gestured towards the drawer with the huge cranberry carton as she shut the fridge door.

“How have I never looked there.” O grumbled to herself, retrieving a purple apron that said “Kiss the Cook” in big letters.

“I’ve got the cranberry sauce if you’ve got the cornbread.” Clarke told her. She was positioned in front of the stove, apron on and hair tied back, in total cooking masterchef mode. Bellamy thought she looked adorable- not that he was looking.

“Deal. Just don’t eat all the cranberries.” She shot her friend a pointed look as she popped one in her mouth.

“Kay.” Clarke laughed, swallowed, and got to work.

~`~

“Everything is in the oven, everyone is on the way, this is going well.” Raven said as she surveyed the kitchen, which resembled a battle zone. “If a little messily.”

“You shut it, you hid upstairs the entire time.” Octavia chastised as she wiped a particularly sticky counter down.

“Speaking of, I think I figured out what happened to the washer. I can go fix it now, probably only take twenty minutes, tops.” Said Raven.

“Do it then, if you run into any trouble though just stop and we’ll fix it when we don’t have company.” Clarke directed. Raven stood and set off towards the basement washroom. Bellamy came around the corner from the TV room.

“Wick is having car trouble because of the cold, so I’m gonna go get him from Bottle King and we’ll get his car in the morning. He knows the owner.”

“You better hurry, it’s getting bad out there.” Clarke advised, looking nervously out the window.

“I will, princess. See you in twenty.” With that he left the room and headed for the door. Clarke let out a deep breath and turned to Octavia, who was wringing her hands nervously.

“Octavia?” Clarke asked nervously, worried the turkey had burned or something. “What’s up?”

“Lincoln’s coming.” She blurted.

“Wait, like, older boyfriend Lincoln? Afghanistan Lincoln?” Clarke asked. O nodded in response, obviously nervous. “Isn’t that a good thing? You haven’t seen him in forever, and I’ve been dying to meet him.” Clarke teased, but Octavia didn’t lighten up.

“”It is amazing, but he didn’t tell me until just now amd he’s on his way and Bellamy doesn’t know I’m dating at all, let alone a guy that’s older than he is.” Her words meshed together as if she was forcing them out, and when she finished she was near breathless, and obviously upset.

“O, I’m sure Bellamy will be just fine with you seeing someone that makes you happy. It’s nothing to worry about.” Clarke rationalized, setting her hands on her friend’s shoulders.

“You think so?”

To be honest, Clarke wasn’t sure, Bellamy wanted the best for his sister- that became obvious after he dropped off a huge binder of allergies and food preferences and emergency information her first week living there- but he also believed that the best thing for her was him.

“It’ll be fine, O. Go take a shower and I’ll add a place setting.” She offered, turning her friend in the direction of the staircase.

“Thank you, Clarke.” O thanked her as she hopped up the steps, a spring back in her step. “You’re the best.”

“I know.” Clarke teased, and turned back to set the table.

~`~

Monty and Jasper arrived and hung out in the living room as they waited for everyone else to arrive, the food was warm and waiting under tin foil tents on the kitchen island. Octavia came down the staircase in a black dress with ¾ sleeves and little cutouts in the waist, her phone clutched in a vice grip in front of her.

“He’s here.” She answered Clarke’s questioning look. The bell had hardly rung when O was ripping the door open, revealing a tall figure blurred by the snow. Octavia shrieked and flung the storm door open.

“Lincoln, I assume.” Jasper muttered jokingly as he and Monty joined Clarke at the door. Octavia was literally on him, hugging him in his military uniform as he held her. He set her down, allowing the rest of the crew to see his face without Octavia’s on it.

“You must be Clarke, and Monty and Jasper too. Octavia sent me pictures.” He smiled down at her, a love in his eyes Clarke didn’t think she’d ever seen. There was no way Bellamy would dislike him, not when they were so obviously in love.

They broke apart long enough for everyone to shake hands and for him to set his big, camo, military issue duffel on the floor. He’d come straight from the airport. They held hands again and O led him to the living room.

Smiling, Clarke set off up the steps so she could take her own shower. She was halfway through singing ‘Radioactive’ when the water shut off. She stood there a moment, hoping it would just turn back on and she would be able to finish shaving. When it didn’t, the door opened and Clarke stuck her head out the shower curtain. Raven had entered, looking guilty.

“I may’ve accidentally messed with the water main when I was doing the washer, and I don’t think I’ll be able to fix it until morning.”

“Raven…” Clarke groaned.

“I know, I’m sorry.” Raven apologized, cringing back a little.

“It’s fine, nothing to do about it now. Just get ready, Bellamy and Wick will be here any second.”

Raven shot her a sympathetic look and left the room. Clarke got out a wrapped herself in a bathrobe, throwing her-thankfully rinsed- hair up in a bun. She went to her room and was putting makeup on when she heard a slam and yelling from downstairs.

Abandoning the mascara wand, Clarke took off down the hall and down the steps, where Bellamy was standing defensively, looking angrily at Lincoln, Octavia between them.

“A _military_ guy, O? _Seriously_? He is never going to be there for you.” Bellamy yelled. Lincoln narrowed his eyes at him defensively.

“Coming from the guy that left her, _a minor,_ to live alone for two years!” he spit, face reddening.

“Lincoln, Bellamy, please not today.” O pleaded.

“You told him! O, do you know how much trouble we could get into?” Bellamy yelled.

“Hey! I would never turn on your sister, I love her.” Lincoln countered, setting everyone back a little, even Octavia.

“Hey, I love you too.” Octavia turned to him, forgetting the fight for a moment.

“ _Love_ him? He’s older than me, Octavia, I don’t like this.” Bellamy bit, venom in his voice.

“Bell-.” Octavia tried.

“No, if you love him, I guess there’s nowhere else for me.” He turned on his heel and shrugged past Wick, who was standing in the doorway with two paper bags filled with bottles.

“So, you’re Octavia’s boyfriend.” Wick said to lessen the awkwardness, but it didn’t do much, and Lincoln led a choked up Octavia out of the room to the living room. Clarke who was freezing in her bathrobe and towel, went to the door and watched as Bellamy pulled out and sped down the street in the snow.

“Just give him some time to cool off.” She told Octavia when she joined them in the living room.

“I don’t know, he’s really upset.” Octavia sniffled, and Lincoln held her hand tighter. Jasper came around the corner with a glass of water and an aspirin, followed by Monty with a six pack.

“Maybe, but he’ll have to get over it, because you two love each other. And I think that’s something to celebrate.” Clarke took a beer from Monty and handed it to Octavia, who smiled gratefully and nodded.

“You’re right, as always. He’ll cool off eventually. So, I guess, to love.” She took the opener and pried the top off, holding her beer out in toast.

“To love.” They chorused. And as their beers clanked together, the world went black.

~`~

“It’s gotta be the snow, probably took a power line down.” Raven said over the lantern they’d gathered around when the power had gone out. They were all under blankets, as they’d begun to freeze, figuring the heat went out for good measure, and Clarke had managed to find the outfit she and Octavia had so carefully chosen for this night, but decided it was rather impractical in this situation and settled for sweatpants and a sweatshirt. Still, she was cold as hell with her wet hair and all.

“Bellamy’s out there.” Octavia said nervously, and Lincoln pulled her into his chest on the couch.

“I’m sure he’s fine. I’ve seen weaker men survive much worse. He’ll be just fine.” He assured her.

“Alright, more booze.” Wick concluded, leaving with a flashlight and going to the kitchen to retrieve more beers.

“Ah, Clarke?” Wick called, his voice setting her on edge. Everything had gone wrong, what now? She sighed, stood and joined Wick in the freezing kitchen.

“Shit.” A window had blown open, and in all the commotion they hadn’t noticed, explaining why it was so damn cold. Not to mention the food was all sitting directly in the winds blast zone. The food was all cold.

“Wonderful. Just freaking wonderful.” She spit, now having a hard time keeping control. It was all wrong, so so wrong. This was supposed to have been a perfect dinner, and now absolutely everything was ruined. She turned sharply on her heel and moved to go to the living room. Seeing red, completely frustrated, Clarke hardly noticed that the molding went out slightly farther than the rest of the all. Stomping, she smashed her toe into the corner.

“THAT’S IT. I AM DONE.” She yelled, anger and frustration boiling thickly in her stomach. She stalked to the basement steps and slammed the door behind her. She stood on the first step a moment, calming herself down. Concentrating on her breathing, she listened to the group on the other side of the door.

“She stubbed her toe? That set her off?” Jasper was asking. Clarke’s fists clenched reflexively.

“It’s been a long day, Jasper. A lot went wrong.” Octavia grumbled.

“Should we talk to her?” Monty offered.

“No, no way. I know her, she just needs some time to cool down. For now we should just wait and see what we can fix.” Raven told them. There was the general sound of assent, and everyone moved away from the door.

Grateful, Clarke went down the rest of the stairs and sat against the wall under the steps, scrubbing her face with her hands and attempting to gather her thoughts.

She wasn’t sure how long she was down there when the door opened and light footsteps began making their way down the stairs.

“Princess?” Bellamy’s voice rang through the darkness, a beam from a flashlight running along the floor until it found her feet.

“So you came back. Octavia must be happy.” Clarke said as he sat down beside her.

“Yeah. I guess I just needed to cool off. It’s only ever been us, and I guess I wasn’t really ready to let her go even if she was ready to let go of me. Then the snow stopped and I realized how stupid I was being. It’ll just take some getting used to, I guess.” He shut his flashlight down and handed her a cold glass. Curious, she raised it to her lips and took a sip.

“Jack and coke?” she asked as she recognized the drink.

“Call it bartenders intuition.” He teased.

“They sent me down with an ice pack too, for your toe. They explained it all. Sounds a wreck.”

“Thanks for the reassurance. And I don’t need an icepack, my toes are freezing.” She sputtered, wrapping her arms tighter around herself.

“I’m prepared for that too.” He set a pair of thick ski socks on her knee.

“You have some kind of intuition, I’ll give you that.” She said gratefully, setting the glass on the ground beside her and pulling the socks up her legs.

“That is heaven.” She groaned, stretching her feet out in from of her.

“Alright, I think we should go up. They have something for you. You’d have needed those socks anyway.” He groaned as he stood, reaching a hand out for her. She took it and he hoisted her up, his hand was warm and completely enveloped hers. She kinda wanted him to keep holding her hand, but he let go when she was standing and headed straight for the stairs, as if fleeing.

She followed him up the steps and out onto the main floor, where everyone, minus Lincoln was gathered in their warm coats and gloves, Raven holding Clarke’s and Octavia holding Bellamy’s. Everyone else was holding plastic containers, alcohol, or cups in Jaspers case, as they didn’t trust him with anything important after his third drink.

“What’s up?” Clarke asked suspiciously, eyes narrowing.

“We are eating by the fire.” Octavia answered, handing Bellamy his coat while Raven did the same.

“But it’s electric, and we won’t need our coats indoors? Seriously what is happening?” she asked, putting her coat on anyway. As if summoned, the back door opened and Lincoln poked his head in.

“We’re ready out here.” He announced, looking down the line and stopping at Octavia.

“Suit up.” She tossed Bellamy his hat and they all made their way outside. Clarke, still confused and slightly concerned, hopped behind them, attempting to get her boot on.

When she got outside she saw they had set up the fire pit outside her house, it was under an awning and safe from the snow, and surrounded by an array of chairs, from kitchen ones to the armchair from the living room. How they got it outside, she would never know. The food that was good cold was sitting on a folding table by the far, but not so close that it would burn everything. Mainly there was the fire, it seemed alive against the stark, cold white of the snow. It seemed almost friendly.

“I know it’s not everything we planned, but it’s all we had on short notice.” Octavia said, almost nervous. Looking around, Clarke realized she’d never had a group of friend that would’ve done this before, anything like this, she had Raven, but never a _group_ of people who really, truly liked her. They were more than anything she ever could’ve asked for.

“I love you guys.” She blurted, and she could swear the entire group let out a deep breath, as if they’d been waiting for her to explode.

“We love you too, Clarke. All of us.” Raven said sincerely.

“Alright, not before we all lose our testicles lets pass the food around get drunk.” Jasper broke in. The group laughed a little, the moment over. They gathered around the fire, Clarke curled up in her armchair, and passed around beers and stories until well into the night, when Clarke’s damp hair was frozen even under her hat.

With everyone very drunk they decided to turn in and carried their respective chairs in, except for the armchair, which Lincoln did some magic on (according to Clarke’s hazy mind) and carried inside.

Clarke showed Monty and Jasper to a guest room, only one as they’d been all over each other since Wick broke out the tequila, O took Lincoln, Wick passed out on a couch, and Clarke was left with Bellamy outside her room. He reached out and touched her icy hair.

‘Okay” he slurred “Maybe ou’side wan-nt the _best_ eyedea.” Clarke just giggled drunkenly. Bellamy’s eyes darkened and he leaned towards her

“I like you, and I don’t really _like_ people, y’know? But I _like_ you. It’s weird.”

“Shut up. Shuuut up. Shhh” she leaned forward ghosting her lips on his. Then logic sobered her.

“No, no, this… no. You’re Octavia’s brother, we are very, _very_ drunk right now. I think we should just.. y’know… sleep it off.” She resolved. Bellamy seemed to think about it a moment before nodding his head.

“Yeah, you right, we are drunk, and sad and very drunk.” He agreed.

“Okay, go to that room” she pointed to one near the end of the hall. “I think its empty.”

“Okay, thank you for the hospitaltality. Night..” he wandered down and hall and fell into the room.

Clarke opened her door and slumped onto her bed, still wrapped up all warm and cozy, and passed out.

~`~

“I have so many regrets.” She moaned when she was woken by both her bladder and the deadly sunlight. She rolled over and found two aspirin and a water on her bedside table. Thanking God, she downed the pills and rolled out of bed and shed her many layers. She sat there a few minutes, gathering her bearings, and eventually stood up to face the world.

Clarke wobbled over to the door and pulled it open quietly as possibly. She turned to walk down the hall when she heard another door open. Clarke looked up to see Bellamy. Shirtless. Leaving Raven’s room.

Maybe she wasn’t the only one with many regrets.


End file.
